Have you ever gotten really angry or upset about something, maybe storming around, calling your friends/family or crying on your own, feeling torn up - only just to find out later that the thing you were so upset about wasn't true?
Maybe there was a mistake, an assumption or something changed and ... you basically got upset over nothing?
Hehe, frustrating and kind of embarrassing, right? It's happened to me before.
I remember being upset about something years & years ago, and a friend of mine pointed out to me that our feelings aren't necessarily the truth, or grounded in the truth.
That hit me because until then I had felt so connected to my emotions, so invested in them, I trusted them as the medium of my own truth. But when he said this I began to think of all the times my emotions were wrong, or a little bit off.
Our emotions are created by our thoughts. So, if our thoughts can be wrong, our emotions can be too. Plus our emotions can sometimes be exaggerated by stress, hormones, depression, trauma, the list goes on...
That's not to say we shouldn't trust our emotions, listen to them and express them.
*I do want to be careful here, because this isn't about suppressing or minimizing actual trauma. This is about reacting to everyday minutia, drama, things of a trivial manner (traffic, gossip, arguing with your spouse about chores...etc.) that are generally temporary in effect and pretty inconsequential to our long-term wellbeing.
But as we grow, observe and get to know ourselves better over the ages, we can evaluate our emotions to gage how much weight to give them. A birds-eye-view can make all the difference in perspective.
If we can get into the practice of observing our emotions, observing ourselves in general to become more self-aware, we can have a more thoughtful response to the things that happen to us, rather than just automatically reacting - which usually causes more drama, stress and recovery in the long run.
So, next time something happens, before your emotions over-take you, stop and take a minute to consider all the angles of the situation and how you can approach your response in the most constructive manner (if you can).
Or if you're already overcome with emotion, stop for a second to ask yourself if your emotions are truly justified. You might discover that things are more manageable than you thought, or that you don't have all the facts yet to warrant a complete melt-down. This is usually the case if you haven't gotten (or given) the other person involved a chance to tell their side of the story.
Going for a walk usually helps me clear my head if I feel overwhelmed. Whatever tools you can use to cope and manage your emotions is the key.
This kind of control can give you the power to diffuse situations, which not only helps you, but those around you.
And the energy you would have normally have spent hurting others or feeling hurt, you can use that power to heal, diffuse and foster peace instead.
It may seem difficult or even impossible to begin with, especially if someone pushes your buttons or triggers (then that automatic response can be hard to control). But if you practice on smaller things as they come up, you'll be ready and able to cope with the bigger conflicts as they arise.
You can do it, you're in control. And you're more capable than you may even realize.
~ Wishing you a peaceful road, wherever it may take you <3